Lost Within, But Alive
I guess you can call me a "Cougar", because I'm NOT a "Teenager" and I'm NOT "Exactly Young” (20 something)!
But I fell in LOVE with the Twilight Sagas and it brought me into a world of Fantasy, Love, Hope, and Desire…
These are things that I haven’t dreamed or even read about since I was in High School… It was amazing that such books could do that!
I haven’t read a series of books that fast since High School…I read the Series in 3.5 days!
I was asking myself, “What was happening to me?
What were these books doing to me?
These book's brought out another side of that I thought was lost…forever!
You see when you get married, have babies you fall into a “RUT” that’s a good word to use. And you forget about yourself. You take care of everybody else and just leave you on the back burner. You stop reading books; stop watching movies, stop hanging out with friends, and become a “Home Body!”
Did I nail that one…Yup, I sure did….because you know what, that’s “ME”!
This is who I became and this is who I was!
Remember that word “WAS!”
Than one day I became Alive, Awaken from the Dead (LOL), and I started to find myself again, and you know what it felt great! I realized that I wasn’t “COMPLETELY LOST”, at least not yet, anyways! You see these books brought me back, made me feel alive again, made me want to open up again, made me want to write again, these books made “ME” find myself again! And for someone who thought that they were lost forever…that says a lot! Because I “WAS” NO LONGER Lost!
Yes, I know that these books are Fantasy!
Yes I know that Edward Cullen is NOT REAL!
Yes, I know ALL about Vampires!
But you know what…I really don’t give A Sh*T!
I’m told on a Daily basis that I’m a “Freak” does this bother me?
Hell NO!
I figure if they don’t like MY PASSION and OBSESSION…
Don’t Let The Door Hit Ya, Where The Good LORD Split Ya!
Yes, I am married, but I’m NOT supported for my Addiction….
YES… that is what it’s called…ADDICTION!
Instead I get razzed for it!
But at this point I’m too far-gone…so who the HELL cares!
Than one day in November my eyes came upon another…The Luv of another Vampire(s)
The Face of These beloved Vampire’s are …Stephen aka Paul Wesley and Bad boy Damon aka Ian Somerhalder of Vampire Diaries.
Now I haven’t been completely in the dark about these series…I have heard and I have read the talk! But I wasn’t ready to convert…that would be cheating! How could I?
OK, CONFESSION TIME:
I couldn’t bring myself to watch the Vampire Diaries because I thought if
I did I would be cheating on myself with the Twilight saga
But you have to understand something…
These are the first books that I’ve read since I’ve been married and since I’ve had my 3 kids.
These are the first books that have drawn out the passion in me, that I thought I lost so long ago.
These are the books that have opened me up to “ME” again!
These books have become my “Lifeline” without them I would still be in the “RUT” that I was in before these books came into my life!
So reading other books like them and watching a series that have similar interests is like cheating. I didn’t want to loose what was given to me, by escaping into another world by someone else. Does that make sense? But I broke the barrier and found out that the V.D has opened and expanded My Dreams, My Passion, and My Desires even more…the fear that I had about taken something away that I fought so hard to keep has only broaden my horizon’s even more.
I have learned that joining these two series of books has made me grown into a better person. I meet wonderful people through Twitter. I’ve opened up more through my writing (as you can tell). I’ve learned that being Passionate is NOT A BAD THING, and that LOVING something that is FANTASY or REAL…it doesn’t matter really!
What matters is what’s in your heart and what it makes you feel inside!
Because what really matters is YOU and HOW it MAKES YOU FEEL when YOU READ IT or WRITE IT!
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